“There ain’t much fun in medicine, but there’s a heck of a lot of medicine in fun.”

    Yesterday morning I was going about my normal Tuesday, sitting in CHOW II when my phone buzzed. Quickly I silenced it so as not to disturb the class and was curious when I noticed my Dad was calling me.  He left a message and after class I proceeded to check it. He only mentioned the fact that he was wondering when my tests were and how they were going. I called him back to tell him my mid-term schedule.  After telling him this he broke the news to me, my uncle Buster had passed away that morning.  Shocked I asked what had happened and how everyone was doing.  Apparently the night before he had felt sick and feverish but later that night he had started talking jibberish and shaking so my aunt called 911. A few hours later he passed away because a strep infection had gotten into his bloodstream.  This was shocking and completely unexpected for my whole family. My dad told me that he and pretty much the rest of my extended family was at my aunt’s house off and on through out the whole day. 

    Uncle Buster was my dad’s brother-in-law.  I wasn’t as close to him as some of my other family but our whole family is pretty close knit so knowing what others were going through made me just as upset.  It was so hard for me to continue going through my day knowing what was happening back home, wishing I could be there with my family.  How could I enjoy my day, laugh at a joke, or be normal knowing what had happened?  It is still sinking in that my uncle has passed on.  I am thankful to know that he is with his savior right now but that doesn’t change the fact that he is absent.  And what am I supposed to do here? I’ve been praying my little heart out but I’m the type that likes to do something with my hands to feel useful.  All day yesterday this kept running through my head. And because of everything else going on I didn’t have a chance to cry and let it out till last night. And out it came.

   I’m so thankful right now for all my wonderful friends that have surrounded me not only with arms but with prayers.  Each one has ministered in different ways, whether it be a hug, a kind word, an understanding that I don’t want to think about it, or being there to talk it through when I do want to voice something.  I’ve seen different aspects of God through the diversities of my friends. They are all such a blessing to me.

   All of this along with other things going on right now has put so many things into perspective. Comparing the death of a family member with the petty details of what I’m doing for Spring break or a test I’m studying for made me realize there’s so much more to life than we realize most of the time.  Yes, to use Covenant phraseology, we have our “little c” calling to be students but looking at the big picture it’s only four years of my life.  Yes it’s important to strive to do my best here and now but with the realization that it’s not everything.  Getting a low grade on my test is not going to effect how I serve the Lord later on in my life.  All the petty drama that goes on too makes me sick.  Why do we worry ourselves to death about guys/girls, test grades, Spring break details, what so-and-so said behind our backs, etc? When are we going to learn to trust God and look at the big picture realizing that there is so much more to life than that.  Now I’m not saying we should stop enjoying the little things like taking a moment to enjoy the sunset, the snow falling down, an eclipse, a warm fire by a pond, the laughter of friends over a silly joke, the comfort found in a friend’s quick hug or kind word, the beautiful view from our mountain, or the late night conversations about nothing with a roomate.  I think those are important to helping us keep our sanity. I am easily amused by the little things and find joy in something small like a note in my mailbox.  There’s a balance of keeping in mind the big picture while enjoying the little joys each day that life provides us. It’s like walking down a path…you have to keep your eye on where you’re going but if you don’t take a moment to look around you, you’ll miss the daffodils on the side of the path.

    It’s amazing to me how much stress and anxiety is put into one fleeting moment of our life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m guilty of this myself.  But why do we stress so much over an event like some dance, wondering who’s going to ask you when it is but a fleeting moment in our life? Yes, we might have memories to cherish but why waste the time worrying over it when we could be using our time better. I’m preaching to myself here too. Well, to avoid becoming a broken record I’ll end with this: as Christians I think it’s even more important for us to keep the big picture in mind knowing that we are graciously being allowed a part of God’s even bigger picture and plan of redeeming the world and we need to be in tune to how God will use us. When we are worried over the little things in life that are but a moment, we block out God’s voice trying to handle it on our own. But if we allow God to be in the driver seat we can sit back and enjoy the ride knowing that he knows where we are going.  So not only can we keep our eyes on the road but we can look out the window and enjoy the passing scenery.

   Any prayers for my family and extended family will be greatly appreciated. 

“I love you, O Lord, my strength. the Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.” Psalm 18:1-3